Hello everyone! It’s been quite some time since I’ve written. My healthcare team drastically changed late in 2022 and those changes required adjustment. I knew that my body was no longer as adaptable as I expect it to be, but this was a clear reminder that any change, even a minute change, can cause dramatic upheaval in my body’s equilibrium and in my life.
Deep self-reflection became an indulgence rather than a joy. When I am dizzy and in pain, my entire being focuses on holding onto moments of peace and gratitude to carry me through the next wave of vertigo, nausea, and anxiety. Anything deeper requires more effort than I can manage. I had to give myself space and grace to be in the moment and let go of my To Do list.
A year out from my change in physical therapists, I am starting to feel more balanced again. I have glimpses of those really good days I was experiencing last year. The bad days are still very present, but I’m finally able to focus some of my creative energy into self-reflection and writing again.
I won’t promise regular posts yet… maybe not even ever. Consistency and routine are not natural traits, so making such a promise feels restrictive and goes against my nature. ( I used to thrive in chaos. Thriving looks very different these days!) I will promise that I am committed to this blog and sharing more about my journey with Ehlers Danlos Syndrome.
Everyone with this particular diagnosis experiences it differently and every human has vastly different tolerance levels for pain and other challenges. I choose to share in a more positive way than some – focusing on the way I process the ups and downs, rather than only complaining about the lows. I choose to share my gratitude for this time in my life.
It’s been a gift to have the time and space to learn about myself, how I got here, and my emotional and spiritual growth through this process. To dig deep into therapy and personal leadership, learning new ways to adapt and overcome, growing new skills, and learning to be kind to myself. To learn the true meaning of self-care and self-love, and to practice them daily. I am adding new tools to my self-care tool box all the time, and I hope that never stops.
My hope, this holiday season, is that each and every one of you embraces self-care in ways that nurture you. Self-care is self-love.
“Self-love is the basis for unconditional love towards others and an abundant and fulfilled life in general. Lack of self-love, self-esteem, and self-worth manifests as scarcity in finances, lack of trust in relationships, an unfulfilling career and job, and a sense of missing control of our own life.” ~Laine Kaleja~
